The Better Part of Myself
by pain66
Summary: Returning from Dakota Andy hopes to put thing right with Sam, things don't always go how we want though. Based season four promo
1. Chapter 1

Walking into the barn after a long six months away seemed to be like walking back into a home that you used to live in, a lot of things looked the same, but so much had obviously changed.

To say she was worried an understatement the butterfly's that she felt in her stomach could be breaking out of her at any minute almost like she was in her own personal horror story. Un sure of what the present or future would hold for she did what she did best, she said to herself, fake it till ya make it."

To any other person it would seem that Andy had returned from her first major undercover assignment with changes only for the better. She had her head held high, carried herself with more self-confidence, street sense and overall fantastic cop but to those who were closest they could see that something inside was breaking and that all was not the same with Andy McNally.

As her assignment had drawn to a close, the reality of what she faced coming home began to settle in the pit of her stomach although she always knew it was possible that he had moved on, her heart told her that he would be waiting for her when she came back, he had said he loved her and if he meant it he would wait. Although it broke her to leave it would be good for them, he wasn't sure when she left, and he made a joke, on the day that she could have died no less, then tried to fix it again. If he meant it he would be there and she would have that drink and never look back, despite their differences and their messes they had always had one another's back, a strong bond that no one else could understand and that would be what brought them back to together and kept them together, this is the one thing she knew she didn't have to fake it to make it.

With her present and future unclear she did what she did best, it was not that she was running from him, but running to get a head start on being with him. As soon as she was done with her debriefing and paperwork, they could start, at least she hoped how that would happen like everything else was up in the air but she would try, and together they could hopefully find their way back to one another.

The disappointment she felt when she learned that Sam wasn't on shift for the next couple of days was manageable, she had heard that he had become a detective but not much more than that, she figured it would be a good time to make sure that she got her all clear, her life semi back on track then head towards fixing what was now broken between them. She had gone to appointment with the shrink, given the all clear much to her surprise after only 2 sessions, but with the requirement that she attend weekly for the next 6 weeks until her staff Sargent and herself felt she had fully managed to regain her life. 3 days after being back she was coming onto shift Nick beside her as they made their way towards the locker room, sleep had seemed to come periodically over the last couple days, the anticipation and overwhelming urge to go see Sam, thinking about everything that might happen that could have happened that….wow she thought to herself I really do ramble. With a smile and a nod they separated at the locker rooms, Nick was more than a friend to her now he truly was the brother she never had, having him with her, made her feel strong, and confidant and today she would need that. As Andy changed and headed towards the coffee station to fill them up for their long-awaited first shift back, it was like a bolt of lightning suddenly hit her knocking her back slightly, her eyes glazed over, her head shook, her eyes began to tear, her heart had just skipped a beat, as her eyes fluttered to a close the last thing that her mind saw was Sam kissing the officer, he had moved on.

It was only seconds, seemed like a moment stopped in time, before to arms came up under Andy to help stop her fall. When her composure returned, yet again only seconds, she looked up to see the shining eyes of Nick, worried and stoic.

"Hey, hey stay still "Nick said as he held his grip firm on her waist

"I'm fi…" Andy mumbled before Nick cut him off

"Don't tell me your fine, you know you're not, what happened?" Nick took that moment to look over his shoulder and see Sam with HER, "let's get to parade and you can fill me in after ok"

With Nick helping her, Andy sat down beside him, his arm rubbing up and down her back as she tried to put her feelings to the back of her mind, still dazed they were off in their own world of silence that they had become accustomed over the last six months to see Sam enter behind them, his look unreadable, his eyes however told a different story, pain.

Not sure if this will stay as a one shot let me know what you think thanks, pls review


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

They say that the eyes are the window to the soul, that much could always be said for Andy. Although she wore her heart on her sleeve, her eyes always gave way to what her heart was saying. Much could be said for Sam, the only difference was if you didn't know to look for it or weren't quick enough you would miss it. Today was the day that it was seen only for a second then gone, the look of indifference reappearing but it had been seen.

As parade had begun Frank set about welcoming back his officers who had done them proud, he had handed out the assignments, was it the universe and its plan for them or was it Karma, Andy's vote was on Karma. Frank had asked for her aid the d's, to help Sam, could her day get any better. As Andy looked up quickly, then back to Nick he rubbed his hand down her back, her look was not hidden from him, or anyone that knew her, and it was clear as day, it was fear. Gaining her baring's she started to give herself a pep talk, looking crazy she thought, it seems it had become her second nature. She would make it through this, she hoped.

Nick approached Andy outside the door, pulling her towards an empty observation room quickly, glancing around he closed the door before he spoke.

"You ok?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'll be "

"Don't even start with me Andy! "Nick's voice firm but still caring

"Fine, I'm not ok. This whole break up has been almost unbearable for me, but when the moment came where I knew I had to let him go and anything we had was in the past, that was the single most painful moment I have ever experienced. My heart is breaking just thinking about it. I didn't think it could get any worse, but seeing him with her, that he moved on, wow guess the universe had a plan, and that was to help Karma bite me in the ass, I know it happened six month ago, I know, I don't know anything, all I do know is I lost him, and I deserve to feel this way, it's my fault, but it doesn't stop it from hurting."

Nick looked at her, her eyes filled with tears, her voice trembling with emotion, she truly looked broken.

"Look, I know it hurts now, but you are strong, you'll get through this. You both made mistakes, do I need to list off all the things he did, "Nick said with a smirk

Andy giggled and wiped her eyes, "I know your right, and it's just hard to put up this front all the time you know?"

"I get it Andy, ok Jesus Gail barely looked at me today"

"I'm sorry Nick, I've been so busy with what's happening with me I never asked about how it was for you"

"hey their loss you and me well get through it together, I am your break up buddy after all, unless you want to fire me, again" Nick stated his brow raised

"No, I'm glad you're here, not that I want to need you for that, but I'm glad we can be here for each other."

"Me to "with a small smile he extended his hand and she accepted heading towards the d's office. He whispered in her ear, "I got your back" she smiled warmly and repeated the sentiment before he headed towards his cruiser and out of her sight.

To say the shift with Sam was interesting was an understatement, back at work one day, and they were being shot at, only her she thought. Sam had said as much to her during the shift, right in the middle of things, all she could say was you missed me didn't you, in return she got his dimpled smirk, wow she missed him.

When Sam had offered her a ride to the penny it was almost instinct that she accepted. They had made small talk until the elephant in the room or truck, seemed to start jumping up and down. She wasn't sure who started it but it happened, she looked in his eyes and held back her own tears, "you broke my heart Sam"

"Well you got me back"

His clear statement caused a pain to run through her chest almost like she didn't realize that he had been truly as broken as her. "Sam", no Andy you walked away from us again, you left! You got me back, I can't look into your eyes and feel that pain again, imp trying to move on, and I need for you to want that for me."

Andy looked at him, really looked at him

"Sam I may have left, but only because you left me first this time, I made mistakes but I never would have left if you didn't shut me out, and whatever happened I do hope you're happy, you deserve it, and you're awesome." With a slight smirk similar to the one he had given her earlier, she leaned it and pecked his cheek, "Night Sam" and left his truck and disappeared into the penny.

Heading to the bar, thoughts whirling in her head, grateful for a minute to regain composure before Sam came into to move on with "Her", yah that still stung she thought to herself as she dipped her head to her chest…

The hardest part of being broken is moving on with your life though you're miserable inside. The excruciating pain will be a torture for each and every passing day. it's hard to live like your normal self again, because all you could think about is the pain of losing someone you dearly love...and most painful? Is...Losing him because of somebody else. No soothing words could compensate the pains...every waking moment without him is a constant reminder that he's no longer yours...

pls review and let me know if I should continue

cheers pp


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Trying to move on with your life after heartbreak is something that no one wants or should go through, they say it is better to have loved and lost then to never love at all, well whoever said that is an idiot, Andy laughed to herself. Today she would move forward and if the universe had another plan, the universe could stuff it. Nick being her friend and confidant and former break up buddy decided best to revise his role, with one small exception, he would be her heartbreak buddy.

When Nick and Andy had met right before parade he decided it was the best time to give her his little gift. With the ever careful unwrapping (not) that is Andy she eyed the gift for a solid 10 seconds before she burst into a fit of cries. Nick immediately began apologizing, just as he was about to pull her into a hug he realized that is was in fact laughing so hard she was crying, with a look of sudden amusement he joined her in her tearful laughter as they headed to parade trying to calm down Andy hugged nick, and kissed his cheek and whispered "your hired"

Sam had come in early having not slept very well at all. He had tossed and turned all night thinking back over his relationship with Andy and Marlo both. He did not want to compare the 2, but in his head it just happened, when push came to shove his head and his heart always told him different and there was still only one annoying rookie who seemed to be camping out in his chest cavity.

If he had expected to have a quiet morning he did not know how wrong he was going to be. After filling himself up with his morning caffeine his attention turned to hear a cry he knew all too well, one that had plagued him for many nights. His heart began to shudder, his feet almost moving of their own accord towards the sound that made his heart hurt, and it was Andy's cry. When Sam rounded the corner he was shocked to see Andy almost bent in two Collins touching her back, and Andy surly crying, but tears of laughter not pain as he had originally thought. Within the span of 5 minutes Sam's mood darkened, the sight of Andy in nick's embrace, tearing him in places that been long untouched by any other, was the nudge that he needed to make some decision. He headed into parade head up, eyes forward, making sure his eyes did what his head wanted instead of his heart wanted him to do.

After a long shift of routine calls, Andy and Nick headed to the penny so that could start their first lesson as nick had put it. When they arrived they sat in a booth near the back of the penny away from prying eyes, at least that's what they thought it was, they would later be proven wrong. As they began to chat Sam had entered with Oliver and Marlo not following too far behind. Old habits dying hard he scanned the bar and his eyes fell upon Andy's in the booth she gave him small smile before Nick said something and returned her attention back to him. "So let's get started then shall we" he stated looking at her with a sly smile

"Yeah ok"

"Let's start with the questions, you answer and well see where to go from there" he said with a smirk

"Ok"

**Step 1:**

Confirm you have the ailment… yes

How do you know you're heartbroken? "Well let's just say I know that one "Andy mocked

"Okay good now it says, If it's your first time, expect physical symptoms such as tightness of the chest (or nausea), loss (or gain) of appetite and watery eyes (this is also known as crying). If you find yourself plotting revenge sex, then you're probably heartbroken. Imaginary conversations with the one who pummeled your heart are also common, as is an avoidance of music by Air Supply and Barry White. "Nick read. At his last word tumbled off his lips Andy let out a loud unlady like snort, quickly covering her mouth, she looked around and back to Nick "OMG I must okay then, I still love Barry white." It was then nick's turn to laugh, he reached across the table taking Andy's hand "guess so "he said with a smirk.

"Want to keep going "he asked her questionably

"Yeah sure, lets"

**Step 2:**

Get perspective. Heartbreak is nothing new. It's mentioned in the Bible, Shakespeare and on toilet doors everywhere. In the Led Zeppelin song _Heartbreaker_, Robert Plant laments, "The best years of my life gone by, here I am alone and blue. Some people cry and some people die by the wicked ways of love." Wicked indeed, dude. To move on, you have to want to move on (once you've re-hydrated yourself after blowing your way through a second box of tissues).

**Step 3:** Get angry. In that classic 1969 song Mr. Plant takes the first baby steps towards demonizing his ex: "Heartbreaker, your time has come, can't take your evil way, go away, heartbreaker." He revels in the "I hate you" phase. So should you.

**Step 4:** Write your pain. After your anger has subsided from a 5 million degree boil to am I'm-under-control simmer, it's time to write break-up poems. But please, do not compare love to a wilted flower. Do not send them.

**Step 5:** Stay sober. It is not advisable to substitute beer for your loss (unless it's really good beer).

**Step 6:** Don't drink and communicate. If you must imbibe, avoid telephoning your ex after midnight. For that matter, drunk texts and drunk emails are more incriminating than calls. While conversations tend to melt in the memory, desperately written messages such as "i missss *%# u!" or "WHHHHYYY?" linger in in boxes. No need to add to the body of evidence used to grant the restraining order.

**Step 7:** Keep yourself occupied. Work hard, get out of the house, or take up a new hobby such as painting Warhammer miniature figurines or visiting every nail salon in town. Staying busy does not mean reading the collected history of your five-year email correspondence. Delete it now.

**Step 8:** Get exercise. You can't sleep your way through heartbreak. By sleep I mean both hiding under the covers and pursuing a Master's degree in meaningless sex. Flex your muscles in another way.

"OMG Nick, how can this be worse than the first one we did"

"well you know what Trac would say"

"yeah I know, best way to get over someone is to get under someone else"she smirked

"why don't you try?"

"are you kidding me Nick, one night under someone else as track would say wont make me forget, I don't mean to be graphic but every time with Sam, was like the first, if its one thing the man knows it's how to make a lasting impression "she smirked

"Wow your right TMI Andy"

"Look all I'm saying is that I can't just jump into bed with someone when he's still in my heart okay, he may be able to do it, that might say that his feelings were never as strong for me but when he's in there I can't let myself be touched or touch someone else that way. I know it sounds stupid okay but it's how I feel, I need to make my heart better before I can let some else in"

Nick moved from his seat across from Andy and moved to sit beside her, he wrapped his arms around her in a hug as he felt the tears wetting his shoulders, common let's go ill take you home"

Andy nodded taking his offered hand and followed nick out of the bar, keeping her head and eyes looking straight forward. Nick dropped her off at home with the offer for to call if she needed anything before she collapsed into bed hoping her dreams would not be of the one that broke her heart.

A/N please read and review as always thanks


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

When morning broke and the alarm rang Andy rolled over, cursing slightly under her breath before covering her head with her covers,

"Wow, another grand day "she said speaking to herself and the air around her

With some slight hesitation and she angled herself out of bed and headed towards the shower determined that she would start today off on a better note than she had the last few, she would be okay after all she really didn't have a right to be angry or to have emotions after all, she really did run this time and there was no going back.

Showered and changed she grabbed a quick cup of coffee before heading out her door, a door that would lead her out of her little cocoon that she didn't feel quite ready to leave yet but never the less she had to move on. Heading to the station her morning resolve teetering on the verge of disappearing, she quickly did a silent check to herself before running into get changed. Leaving the locker room, she felt an arm touch her shoulder, doing a double take she quickly glanced back "hey, what's up?"

"Got a minute?"

"Sam, I'm going to be late for parade can we talk later?"

"Look it will just take a second ok"

"Fine, "

Grabbing her hand pulled her into any empty interview room closing the door behind them, he looked at her for a minute and leaned against the door, but continued to look around at anything but her.

"Sam what is it, I have to parade and well you're not saying much are you so ill,"

"Look Andy, I don't know how to do this ok, I thought that if we cleared the air we could both move on, maybe friends again….sometime"

"Sam, its fine. Even though things happened the way they did, I will always love you and have a special place in my heart, even if its hard and things get bad, when it comes down to it I will always be there if you need me ok"

"So you think this friends thing will work" his tone was unsure

"Sam, I don't know ok, things are new now so with time maybe, like I said ill always care, but…."

"I know, but the same goes, I will always want to be there when it matters, ok."

Andy closed her eyes and took in a breath, she nodded her head before moving behind him to open the door, she could not look at him, and tears creeping into her eyes were quickly blinked away as she headed to a seat beside Nick.

"You ok" Nick asked glancing at Andy

"Yeah I'm good, I fill you in later ok." Nick nodded and turned his attention back to frank as he was entering the room

"Okay people, we have bolo out for one James Cynder he is wanted in connection with a string of arson fires in the warehouse district. He is believed to still be in the area and should be considered armed and dangerous if you think you have a lead call for back up immediately as he is known to be unstable. With that McNally/Epstein, Shaw/Collins the rest of you your assignments are on the board get out there and have each other's backs.

Nick looked over at Andy and smiled "never a dull moment huh" he whispered

"Not for us she laughed"

"Look ill catch ya after shift, have a good one and be careful, if I need to remind you" he laughed

"Same back partner"

"Hey I thought I was your partner today?" Dov said fraying hurt

"You are "Collins said "but the rest of the times she mine so watch her back"

"As always" Dov responded before they watched nick head out of the room

"Ready "he asked

"You bet "Andy replied as they made their way out to the car. In the corner by the far door Sam stood there with a blank stare on his face, he had listened as Nick had told Epstein to keep her safe because she was his partner, was that for work purposes of life purposes he didn't know, all he knew is that used to be his line and his job but whether he should care, the fact is he still did. As Sam returned to his office to begin his day, he was stopped by Marlo just outside the door "hey" she said as she entwined their fingers

"Hey look I'm"

"I know you've been busy, it's okay why don't we meet tonight at my place ill make you dinner we can relax together?"

"Look I'm not sure what time I'm going to get out of here, I'll call you ok"

"Are we ok Sam you've been distant since McNally came back, I know she's playing games with your head but…?"

"don't go there Marlo, this "he said motioning between them: has nothing to do with Andy ok, I just need some space ok, I'll call you later if I can alright"

"fine Sam, but don't let this come between us ok "with[S1] that she left the room and Sam went about trying to get rid of his enormous headache which he couldn't seem to get rid of since the day had even started.

It had been only a couple of hours since parade when the d's where called to the scene that dov and Andy had attended. They were advised that one of the officers had been injured but where still on scene feeling a sense of urgency he picked up his pace, when he arrived he saw what he had feared Andy was in the back of the ambulance, an icepack on her head, bruising forming around her neck barely visible from the shadowing which her uniform caused, the paramedic said something to her before touching her shoulder causing her flinch, as Sam was about to head over to her he noticed someone approaching the ambulance the look of concern caught his eye. Sam watched as the man came up to Andy and gently raised her chin so he could look at her face and neck, it took several moments for Sam to take in his appearance he had on a uniform also, damn it was a hose monkey "what the hell" he thought, what does he think he's doing touching her, he doesn't even know her he thought, or does he, the fact remained that again there was a lot Sam Swarak could be guilty of not knowing or assuming, his headache was back, who was he kidding it never left it just got worse.

The day progressed slowly pieces of the story unraveling slowly Dov and Andy had responded to a report of a domestic disturbance that had quickly escalated. The husband and father in the home had threatened his wife and children when he through a lit cigarette into a garbage can full of paper, when they had arrived on scene the father had refused to let his wife and family pass causing one of the children to begin to suffer burns from a fire that had quickly spread to the nearby curtains. Andy jumped in without thinking and using her lions heart as Sam had always called it, tried to prevent further harm to the little girl being assaulted and strangled in the process by the father until the "hose monkey "had stepped into to aid her. Sam had stood across from Epstein his eyes twitching in disbelief "where were you when all this was happening"

"I was trying to get the mother to calm down when the guy grabbed his daughters arm back and basically over the fire, which is when Andy stepped in, if she didn't that little girl would have been scarred forever or killed"Dov stated

Sam looked over at Andy still sitting in the back of the ambulance, the hose monkey had his arm on hers, she gave him a small smile, those smiles used to make his day, in turn he leaned down and whispered in her ear she blushed back at him, and nodded. He took her hand and helped her down from the back of the rig as they made their way back towards Dov and the others, he watched from behind his note pad as they joined the group collecting his thoughts and putting back up his walls that had somehow fallen in the last few hours since this day had started.

"Hey"Andy said as she looked at him directly

"McNally"

"Do you need anything from me before I head off "she asked her look puzzling?

"Yeah ill need to get your statement Dov gave me the rundown already so just some details. I can get them from you at the station in a bit if you like?" Sam said trying to sound unphased

"im going to take her home, she's pretty banged up and they said she needed to rest with everything that had happened."Andy's companion replied

"And you are?"Sam inquired

"Sorry I'm Vincent Bailey, I work out of fire house 6"he said raising his hand to shake.

"Sam swarak, 15th division"

"Glad to meet ya "Vincent replied

"Are you ready Andy" he asked glancing over at her

"I think I need to go back to the station I need to give my statement and sign out everything…."she tried to continue but began coughing hard

"Andy come on I'll take you home "Vincent replied

"look, Vincent one of us will take her home and make sure she's alright, thanks for the help but we look after our own "Sam replied his words leaving no room for misunderstanding

"look, I need to get back to the station I don't care how I do, but I just want to…."Andy shuddered before things became blurry and she closed her eyes to feel the room spinning that was the last thought she had before she collapsed to the ground.

* * *

A/N

please review as always and thanks for support, anyone know of a beta pls pm me:)

pp


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

_She could feel his hand rubbing small circles across her back, something that he had often done when while she was sleeping, it was something that always gave her comfort also let him know that she there with him, like the night that they shared at the alpine the first time he used this touch in such an intimate way. She must have sighed because she began to slowly open her eyes, and turn onto her back, she saw him hovering over her almost on instinct she reached up and cupped his cheek with her hand and let out another long sigh._

"Hey" he said in a whisper

"Hey" she responded

"How's your head"

"It's… I'm not sure," she tried to sit up but felt unsteady still, he instinctively reached for her and she took the movement and leaned into him. She put her hands around his waist and held him close, letting out another sigh she took a second before looking up at him, his eyes and his reaction surprising,

"What are you mad at me, I don't do this on purpose you know "she said with a shy smile

"Andy "he said not sure what she was thinking or why she was hugging him, she looked down, he took the minute to rest his head against hers, when he raised his head he lifted her chin to look at her, the deep purple bruises yelling out to him, she whimpered softly in discomfort, she then did what he had never expected she leaned in and kissed him. The kiss was not hard, but it was still passionate she played with the hair on the nape of his neck, he wasn't sure how long it lasted or how long it took his to respond, but he did even though he shouldn't have, he felt her pull away before resuming her earlier position with her head on his shoulder, her hands still clasped around him before he could say anything he was broken out of his thoughts by the doctor making his entrance.

"Hi, I'm glad to see you awake Ms. McNally, how are you feeling?"

"Groggy, I don't remember much now, what happened"

"I'll have to check you again but I'm sure it's just a concussion but because of this you'll have to stay overnight for observation ok."

"No I'm fine, I just want to go home "Andy stated

"Do you have someone who can stay with you? "He inquired

"Yes, I'm sure my boyfriend won't mind "Andy said squeezing his leg

"Alright we will check everything out and go from there ok" he said before leaving the room

Andy turned slightly to look at Sam, his eyes gave away his discomfort, she thought he would be mad but she didn't think he would be distant with her, she didn't think he would actually say no.

"Sam, what's going on, did I do something that bad that you don't want to stay with me now, I'm sorry "she said a tear silently slid down her face

It was at that point Sam realized that she must have memory issues, not wanting to upset her he raised her chin to look at him, "I'm not mad sweetheart, just worried "he said his tone and words even surprising him.

"I'm fine "she said quietly

"I know, just it's still hard sometimes "he said, no truer words he thought

"I'm just foggy, can you stay here….with me, and later "she trailed off

"Andy I'm there when it matters "he gave his trademark smirk. Andy let out a small breath and reached for him, not wanting to upset her any further and confuse her, he let her pull him in, he was surprised when she kissed him again, he had missed this, missed her it was then that he heard a cough coming from behind them he turned and was shocked to see the face of one very pissed off Marlo Cruz.

"What the hell Sam" Marlo yelled, he was pretty sure she just woke the dead

"Marlo" Sam exclaimed "come back here as he followed her out into the hospital entry

"What Sam, what can you possibly say to make what you were doing in there alright, huh, what?"

The look on marlo's face was painful although he was starting to realize that things may not have been as done with Andy as he thought, she still didn't deserve to think that he would actually cheat on her, but in a way he guesses he was.

"look ok, I need to talk to the doctor she seems to be having some memory issues, she thinks we are still together, I didn't want to upset her ok,"Sam says putting an arm on her shoulder

"I don't know Sam, but this better be the last time I see you with her like that got it"ill check in with Traci and the doctor before I head back, I'll see you at the barn and we can talk over dinner ok"

"I'm not so…"

"Sam what do you want, be there or I don't know ok" with that she turned on her heals and left

Sam let out a huff as he turned to head back to Andy's room, he rubbed us temples, his head continuing to throb, as he approached the door he saw Traci standing outside with none other than his two favorite people, the hose monkey and Collins.

"Hey" Traci said as she watched Sam approach

"Hey" he replied

"How is she doing "Traci asked, the two men close behind intent on hearing his answer

"she is doing fine the doctor said that she had a concussion and that she would have to have help or she would have to stay here overnight "before Sam could even continue with the information that he had later learned, not entirely sure how he could explain what had happened between them he was interrupted by Nick

"I'm done now as well so I can take her home and stay with her until tomorrow, what shift you have tomorrow V"nick asked

"I'm off for four days, so I can spend the day with her, then maybe we can all grab dinner tomorrow, how does that sound" he asked looking between Traci and Nick

"Before you get ahead of yourselves I think you might want to talk to Andy about her plans" Sam said almost smugly

With a quick nod Traci entered her room to see Andy laying on her side, looking out the window, when the others went to follow they were asked by Traci to give her a minute which they accepted and took a seat outside the room In the chairs that lined the hallway.

"Andy "Traci said quietly

"Hey trac"

"How are you feeling "her motherly tone not to be missed?

"I've been better but I'll be fine just waiting for the doctor so I can get out of here "she said with a sigh

"Yah, Sam filled me in I think between us, we can all make sure you're not alone "Traci stated

"Trac thanks but we have it covered, Sam's going to be my sexy nurse "she stated winking at him, as he leaned against the door

Traci almost coughed at Andy's answer, she looked back and forth between Andy and Sam, how the hell, when did this happen, no she couldn't have missed that much, could she, nope something was off, but she sure as hell was going to find out what it was. Looking back at Andy Traci asked gently

"Honey do you think that's a good idea?"

"Why wouldn't it be, he's fine with it right sam"Andy said looking over at him

Andy reached her hand out waiting for him to come closer, she waited for a moment a slight tremble in her hand gave away her momentary worry, before he came closer accepting her hand, she pulled him closer and leaned against him

"Sam "her voice held that same slight tremble

"Yah sweetheart its fine"

A/N: thanks for all the reviews and suggestions, they are great keep the idea and reviews coming

cheers PP


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

When Andy had become tired Sam slowly slipped out of her room when he was sure she was asleep, he rubbed his hand over his face and stepped out into the hallway, he knew that he was going to need to talk to Tracy and the others, he didn't know what he was going to say, he would figure it out when the time came, two steps out the door he was met by a very angry partner and an equally upset hose monkey.

"What the hell is going on Sam" Tracy questioned

"look Tracy, I tried to tell you before you guys started making this plan Andy seems to have some memory loss, she surprised me as much as she surprised you I didn't know what to say, so I wanted to talk with you and the doctor before saying anything that would make it worse"

Tracy looked at Sam, understanding came across as her features softened "Sam, how do you know you didn't just make it worse for her"

"Honestly I don't, I just couldn't stand the way she was looking at me, I not that cold Tracy you know I love her"

"Love her "she said her eyebrow quirked

"Loved her "he repeated almost trying to convince them both with the slip of his tongue

"look Sam well figure this out all I know is that you should not have let her think that you were still together and that you still love her , in the long run that will make her feel so much worse than if she learned the truth now, don't you think"

"I guess, I just didn't know what else to do, it caught me off guard, let's go and see the doctor and see what he says, and go from there"

'"Ok, I'm going to tell nick and Vincent, so they can join us ok/"

"Who the hell is this guy Tracy, besides a hose monkey from the scene, why should he be involved in any thing that concerns Andy "he questioned?

"Because he is dating Andy" Vincent said from behind him

Sam and Tracy turned to find the less than pleased face of Vincent and Nick staring daggers directly in the eyes of on dark-eyed detective.

"Since when "Sam questioned the two men

"since its none of your business "Vincent stated, "all you need to know is that Andy I are dating and that means she is my concern, not yours"

"I don't think that you know who I am to Andy, and just because you say you're dating her doesn't mean you get that say, if anyone does it would be her next of kin, tommy or Nash, not you"

"look you two cut it out, we will talk to the doctor together and find out what is best for Andy's wellbeing and go from there, tommy is away now on a cruise so well find out if there needs to be any further intervention that Andy can't make herself and deal with it ok," Tracy finished

The men all stood there grumbling to themselves and her in acknowledgement, Tracy went in search of the doctor with strict instructions to leave Andy alone and not to kill one another, she smirked as she left this was going to get interesting.

15 minutes later, Tracy approached with the doctor in tow, she explained the situation with the three men standing in very close proximity listening closely to every word, when the doctor stopped to take a breath before he began, and he looked at the men and began to speak.

"Ms. McNally suffered a bad concussion her memory should return soon she just needs to be surrounded by those she is most comfortable with, and those that know her the best"

"Well she only remembers her relationship with Sam, they have not been together for some time now, how should this be handled "Tracy said her tone loving and motherly

"I would suggest that she spend time with Mr. Swarak, "he began, Sam smirked at the men

"But I would suggest that he refrain from going into too much of the past otherwise it could cause her harm emotionally once she begins to regain her memory"

"So what about me, do I just go away "Vincent asked his tone worried unsure

"No just don't push your relationship, how long have you been together "the doctor asked

"We've been out a couple of times "he replied

"Ha, so you don't even really know her then"sams tone trademark Swarak

"look all I know is that you now you and her are not together, and I really like her and she seemed to really like me, I only want what's best for her, so I help anyway I can, I just want to be there that's all I ask"

Sam looked him, fricky hose monkey he thought being all noble and stuff, "it's not my decision to make but were all in her corner so I'll do the same "with that he extended his hand to Vincent, "truce"

"Truce "he replied accepting Sam's hand, fricking hose money Sam thought as he smirked before heading back towards Tracy. "Tracy I'm going to tie up some stuff at the barn, call me if anything else happens and I'll come back right away ok"

"Sounds good" she replied

"I'm going to go see Andy, keep her company "nick said "want to come v"

"Yah sure, that will be great"

Sam looked as the two men went to Andy's room, "he better not get any idea's" he mumbled to himself

Sam what are you doing, your with Marlo and this is Andy's shot to be happy okay, she hasn't dated anyone since you, she couldn't do that to herself she wouldn't because even though it was over with you she felt like she was betraying you somehow if she felt or…..well let's just say she not like you in many ways, so you need to let her have her happiness okay it's not fair, I'm not trying to be a bitch just her friend "with that she left the hospital, and a dumbfounded Sam standing behind, wow he thought I'm in for it now, what the hell was the woman talking about now, will he ever get it, nope he doesn't think there is enough brain power to ever answer that question fully.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Sam stood outside of Andy's room listening in as Nick and Vincent spoke and laughed together about a dinner they had last week. "Do you remember the look on her face when she realized what she said "Nick laughed?

"Yeah she was so red, she doesn't have a filter sometimes" V laughed

"She never has "Nick confirmed

"I've never met someone like her Nick, she says what she means, well not always what she means" he laughed "she has such a big heart, she told me about him ya know"

"About who? "Nick replied

"Mr. Detective out there, told me how difficult of a past they have and that she still wasn't over him, but she was trying and getting there slowly. She said that she would like to try to get to know each other but if I ever wanted more than all I had to do was tell her and she would understand, and she would hope that we could be friends" he sighed "why would he let such an amazing girl go, from what you said he's an ass"

"It's more complicated than that, they have a history" Nick said

"Well whatever it was and whatever happened he's an idiot" Vincent repeated

"I know that "Sam said entering the room

"How long were you standing there "nick asked

"Long enough "he replied

"What can we do for you detective" Vincent asked

"I just came to check on Andy, I'm going to be taking her home soon and wanted to see if she wanted me to grab anything from the store before that"

"Look I'll take her home and get her settled, that way she has the least distractions "Nick said

"Look Collins, I understand you want to have her back but I'm not going to hurt her, I want what's best for her you know"

"Could have fooled me" Vincent mumbled under his breath

"Look you don't know me you don't know about what we have, about what happened with us, so as much as I don't care what the hell you think I'm trying to respect whatever it is between the two of you"

"What you have "Vincent said "you say that in the present tense, like there is something still going on between you?"

"I'm not going into this okay, I'm going to take her home end of story, you can come when she is settled but for now I'm here to help that's it like you, got it"

With that Sam left the room to get her discharge papers in order, he called the station and told them that he would be on call only for the rest of the day and the week and that he would be taking personal time to help out with Andy. When he had passed the message along to the desk sergeant, he patched him through to frank, "what's this I hear about time off Sam" he asked

"I'm helping out with Andy I'm sure Nash filled you in?"

"Sam." Frank questioned

"Look boss, I'm helping that's all just because we aren't together doesn't mean I don't care she will always be my partner and my friend, so please do this for me"

"Ok brother let me know if you need anything, or if she does "he stated

"Thanks boss, I'll keep you updated" with that Sam hung up and headed into Andy's room to see she was awake and talking to the nurse

"Hey" she smiled at him

"Hey, you almost ready to break out of this joint" he laughed

"Yeah can't wait to get home" she smiled

"Ok let me just finish up with her "the nurse turned looking at Sam and smiling, "how long have you been together?" she asked

Andy looked at Sam and waited for him to answer, "Well we" he stuttered

Andy laughed "men and their dates, friends for 2 years, and partners he added together just over a year"

"Wow that's great I can see how much love you guys have in your eyes it's so nice to see in today's day and age" she said, "we'll all done take care dear" she said as she left the room

"You ready?"

"Yeah I can't wait to get home "she said. "Sam where are we going, my house or yours?"

"Well I thought we would go to the condo that ok?"

"Yeah it's fine, just checking" she smiled

After a short drive they arrived at her condo, he brought her in and made sure she was settled on the couch before offering her a drink or something to eat, when he had gone to get something sorted he soon returned to see her fast asleep, he looked down at her and smiled despite his dislike for the hose monkey he had a point he was an idiot for let her go. When Andy woke up she saw Sam sitting at the kitchen table reading over a file, he seemed very engrossed in what he was reading because he didn't hear her come up behind him and put her arms around him. Her sudden movements made him jump,

"What's wrong Sam?"

"Nothing, sorry you just startled me that's all"

Andy looked at him carefully, "ok if that's all, how about something to eat" she smiled

"Anything" he smiled

After they finished eating, they sat on a couch before Andy started to fall asleep, Sam picked her up and carried her to her room, and he woke her up just enough to give her a glass of water with her medication, before he shut off the light and headed back into the living room, "Sam" Andy said sleepily

"Yeah",

"Where are you going?"

"Just in the other room, I'll be in later"

Andy reached her hand out for him to take, she waited still groggy "please just come to bed Sam"

"Andy, I'm just going to"

"Sam it can wait, I don't want you to go" her voice sounded young and vulnerable, he sighed and came over to the bed and laid down beside her, she rolled onto her side and reached her arm across his chest, "love you" she murmured before snuggling back into his side. He waited until she fell asleep before he slipped back into the living room and laid down on the couch and finally let the day catch up with him and he fell into a deep sleep.

When Sam next woke up the next morning someone was pounding at the door, quickly trying to gain his baring's he stumbled to the door without looking through the peep-hole he swung the door open to meet with the very amused grin of one Oliver Shaw.

"What the hell Shaw, do you know what time it is?"

"Well brother I'm guessing someone didn't get much sleep last night" he smirked

"Ollie you know it's….."Sam looked up at his friend, his face the picture of amusement wondering what had distracted him he slowly turned his head to see Andy wondering out from the bedroom in her boy shorts and tank, "are you coming back to bed? "She said rubbing her eyes

"Umm" Sam stuttered

"Hey McNally "Oliver piped in

"Hey Ollie, "quickly realizing her state of undress, she blushed before running back to the room, "ill be right back "she yelled

"You were saying "Ollie laughed

"Shut up"

A/N:

Please take the time to review appreciate all the feedback:)


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

_A/N: Thanks for all the reviews_

Ollie had only stayed for a short visit, they had coffee and chatted about how Andy was feeling and

What the doctor had said about her returning to work. Ollie looked on as Andy continued to rub her hand over Sam's knee he looked like his old friend again, carefree and well just happy. As Sam had seen him out, he looked at his friend and simply said, "This looks good on you brother I'm glad to have you back "and then he was gone. Sam was happy when he was with her always had been, things may have been difficult and a challenge but with her they were always interesting, and he always felt alive and well, wanted. Even he had to admit things with Marlo were interesting but he never had the passion with her that he had with Andy, how the hell did his life become this big of a mess he laughed to himself. He was startled out of his thoughts by Andy circling her hands around his waist and leaning her head against his shoulder, "you ok" she whispered to him?

"Yeah, I'm good "he said as he leaned back into her embrace. He slowly turned around and mimicked her place, "you know you scared me the other day, right? "He whispered

"Yeah, I know, I'm sorry "she whispered

"don't be, I'm just glad you're alright" he said as he stroked her hair

Andy pulled away from their hug and led him to the couch, he sat down beside her and she snuggled in close, "this is nice" she said, "I'm glad you're here"

"Me to" he said as he watched her fall into a peaceful sleep. "me to"

He had watched her sleep, wondering how things could have changed so much in the last year, he had always known that he still loved her, but he knew also that love had changed over time, he only realized now that it had grown, because now he realized what he had and lost. As if the universe continued to have a plan, a cruel plan he thought, they were abruptly brought back to reality by a knocking at the door. Andy mumbled to him to just leave it she didn't want any visitors now, and pulled him back down to her as he attempted to stand.

"Let me just see who it is quickly" he said

Andy mumbled something under her breath, before straddling his lap and pulling him for a kiss, to say he was surprised would be an understatement, it took him a second before he responded, pulling her head further down to him, and threading his hands through her hair, he always used to love playing with her hair, again something he wasn't even aware how much he missed. It was until she began trailing small kisses down his neck, that he let out a small moan, the person at the door had apparently gotten the point that no one was home, because they hadn't heard the knocking continue that or they were to wrapped up in their own worlds to notice. When Sam began to mimic her earlier movements and started sliding his hands up and down her thighs and under her shirt ever so slightly, his mouth moving to her neck, that special spot behind her neck, she let out a delightful moan, which he quickly swallowed with his mouth on hers, the next moments came in slow motion as the door to her condo was busted open with a crash and the very shocked faces of her partner and "friend" stood there with slightly shocked expressions to say the least.

"What the hell "Sam said, moving Andy carefully to the side before he stood up

"I could ask you the same thing, what the hell do you think you're doing" Vincent asked

"I can tell you what is none of your business "Andy replied coming to stand beside him

"Look, regardless of what you think is happening, that doesn't explain why you just busted down her door "Sam said his anger clearly visible

"Really Andy got hurt, I tried your cells, no one answered I was concerned, then when I knocked no luck again, what would you have done"vincenet replied sharply

"Fine, well we didn't hear the phones, we had been sleeping, and second…." "And second Andy interrupted it none of your business, I appreciate your concern but we have it covered "Andy said clasping Sam's hand in her's "right "she said looking at him

"Andy….."

"What Sam, what is it"

"Look they care as well and they are right I should have made sure to be more careful "he said giving nick and Vincent an apologetic look

"Sam, what the hell is going on, "she rambled, her arms started to fly around the room, trying to get her point across, "since when you care what others think" she continued

"Andy, it's not that simple"

"Then explain it to me "she hissed dropping her hand from his

"Look guys can you give us a minute please, I need to talk to Andy." With that he grabbed her hand and walk towards the bedroom. When they made it inside, he closed the door behind him, he rubbed his hand over his face before gaining the strength to look at her, her eyes were red and distant, he wasn't sure he could stand to look at her face for much longer, when she finally broke the silence.

"What is it Sam, is this too much for you, do you want some space "she asked her eyes continuing to tear up

"Andy no, it's not what I want "he said clearly, trying to make her understand

"Then what Sam, if it's not too much then why does it seem that you can't wait to get away from here."

Letting out a long, silent breath, he took a moment before he spoke, "Andy, I do want to be here, it's just I don't belong here anymore "he sighed

"God damn it Sam, what the hell does that mean for once can you just tell me what your feeling without all the run around" she pleaded

Before he could answer, he could hear yelling coming from the other room, when Andy went to open the door slightly faltering in her steps she was caught off guard when the door flew open and she was met with another pissed off person, 3 in one day what are the chances

"Wow that didn't take you long did it, always playing the victim "she screeched

"What the "Andy responded before being cut off

"you couldn't stand that he was with me so you play it up to get him back, I don't care what everyone says, your just a bitch"she continued. Andy looked at Sam, and then back at the woman who she didn't know, but seemed to know all of them. "Marlo that's enough "Nick said as he and Vincent came into the room.

"Andy" Sam tried to speak but was cut off

"Omg Sam, what is she talking about please tell me it's not what I think" her eyes filled with tears, he face heartbroken and clearly looking for a simple answer

"Andy I'm sorry but…." Without a second word she ran into the bathroom and slammed the door, she closed her eyes as she let her body slide down the door, her tears began to flow again as she could almost feel her heart-break in two

"No "was all she said as she continued to sob, "not again…"

_A/N: Please read and review as always_

_cheers PP_


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